Make the plan but Live in the moment

Well it took 7 straight weeks of twelve to sixteen hour days and my daughter getting married but I finally did it!! I took two whole days off from working on the house.

It.... was... amazing.

First let me apologize to my dedicated readers, who wait with bated breath for my weekly post. To both of you, I’m sorry. We left for Carissa and Chance’s wedding Friday morning and when we returned Sunday evening I was still processing the events of the weekend and didn’t want to rush a post. Now a week has passed, I’m back in the groove at the

house and have had time to reflect on where the last two weeks have taken me.

Since this Blog was started under the guise of chronicling the 90 day house build, let’s get that out of the way.

Drywall was hung before we left, it was mud and taped while we were gone and has been primed and painted since our return. I gave the barn/shop some attention in the form of building the loft and a staircase to access it. The water service has been installed as well as

phone/internet service. The LP tank has been set and filled and the septic tank is finished.

Most of the items on that list were done by others. All pieces of the puzzle that required only my coordination not my physical labor. I have the ability to dig a trench and I’m fully capable of finishing drywall, so why didn’t I self-perform these tasks this time? Well, I stumbled onto the answer to that question in Webster City, IA at my daughter’s wedding.

Friday morning found us convoying to the state park outside of Webster City. Me, in the truck and trailer loaded down with a list of wedding essentials provided by my daughter and Becky followed with Wyatt and a couple others recruited to help set up for the ensuing weekend long celebration. Carissa left nothing to chance; she had lists, she organized, planned, gave written instructions to include pictures and estimated time of set up for each component. She did test runs of the ceremony in her basement and set up the arbor in her driveway. Due diligence is an understatement when it comes to her level of preparedness.

But when the day came for her vision to become reality, it was amazing to see the ease with which she turned it over to someone else. Had that been me, I would have felt the

need to execute the plan myself. I would have worked all day and half the night to finish things just so I’d know it was done “my way”. I would have been so stressed and exhausted that I wouldn’t have enjoyed it much at the moment. My plan would be to meet the totally unrealistic goal just so I could (after the fact) celebrate and find joy in the accomplishment.

I tend to celebrate the victories and not the moments that lead up to them.

Not my daughter, she’s got it figured out. Create realistic goals, frontload the experience with planning and preparation, surround yourself with like minded people that you trust, and then, simply let it happen and enjoy it for what it is.

Never was this made more clear to me than on Saturday October 2nd. The bridal party started getting ready at 8 o’clock in the morning; hair, make-up, I heard rumors of a brunch in there somewhere. Quite the production from what I gathered and then they started taking pictures, lots... and lots... of pictures. Every conceivable combination, bridesmaids, groomsmen, Carissa and I (first time seeing her dress), her and Chance, immediate family, extended family, you get the idea. When family pictures started at 3 o’clock and the rains came in my daughter was not phased that the morning spent doing hair and make up would be affected. She simply smiled her beautiful smile and literally danced in the rain.

As we were set to walk down the aisle of the outdoor ceremony that she had planned the sound system shorted out, also due to the earlier rain. Everyone went into panic mode, some blamed the DJ, others focused on trying to find a backup sound system, some just froze waiting for the Bride-to-be to have a nervous breakdown. My daughter's response, “ We’ll make our own music!”. So we did! I walked her down the aisle as she hummed the wedding march. Everyone in attendance joined in and it became a cute, whimsical moment I will cherish forever.

After watching my daughter navigate the obstacles in front of her this past weekend one thing became very clear to me. She made conscious choices to remain consistent, to make the best of the situation, to be present in the moment and find the joy in it.

In those moments, I found myself looking for a sign from my daughter; ”Who does she need me to be right now?” Does she want me to take charge, or hold her and let her cry, maybe make a joke and get her to smile?

None of the above.

Nothing needed fixed, because nothing was broken.

My daughter married an amazing man, family and friends gathered, stories were told and memories were made. Not everything went as planned, but everything went as it was supposed to.

I watched my baby girl, on the most important day of her life be unphased by adversity, sing her own song and dance in the rain.

Kind of puts getting into a fight with a can light into perspective, don’t ya think?

Who would have thought that on her wedding day, I would be the one receiving such a special gift, a point of view that couldn’t have come at a better time.